The Office Worker’s Nutrition Survival Guide

My friend. It’s a war out there.

Your office might not seem super special, but it’s a hostile, dangerous environment.

As you’re getting in great shape, landmines and booby traps are everywhere.

In an office setting, people will often bring in what I like to refer to as “Fun food”.

You know, Cookies, muffins, cupcakes.

But the worst of them all? The temptation to eat half of the Dairy Queen ice cream cake the owners brought in for Sandy’s birthday.

These are the landmines you have to watch for.

The foods above aren’t bad on their own, because there are no good or bad food.

But in the context of getting in great shape, unplanned snacks can be the difference between looking good and “HOLY CRAP! YOU LOOK GREAT!”

You know what else happens in war? Those without a game plan end up getting shot in the foot due to their own mistakes.

But when it comes your nutrition though, this won’t be you.

You’re the freaking man! Even though you failed basic training for nutrition years ago, your failures don’t matter. Your command sergeant has faith in you.

You can do this private. It’s time to show everyone what you’re made of.

Your mission? Get in better shape than you were at 21 so you can drop jaws at your college reunion.

 

Tall order? Yes, but totally doable.

With a goal like this, you need a strategy to resist the temptation these foods will bring.

You don’t need some drill sergeant telling you, “IF you want it bad enough, just use willpower!” to combat temptation.

Writing that sentence makes me want to vomit.

EVEN IF you decide to use willpower, you’re going to need so much energy to resist baked goods. As a result, you’re going to be mentally and emotionally drained the rest of the day.

At the first sight of Mcdonalds on your way home, you’re going to be in the drive-through ordering 3 Big Mac combos faster than a horse runs from a glue factory.

Willpower only gets you so far.

Today you’re going to learn to create an environment to escape through the baked good warzone. With minimal damage.

 

STRATEGY 1: Preload it into your nutrition tracker. 

In a war, you’re given a map before you take on your mission. You know what doors are where, when your enemies are most likely to pop out from behind closed doors.

This is like tracking your baked goods BEFORE you even get to the office.

You are tracking your food right?

If not, get on that!

If you already are, this is for you.

For office birthdays, preload your cake into myfitnesspal before you even get to the office.

You will know how much food you are able to have for the rest of the day, and won’t get into trouble and need to skip dinner.

Less accurate tracking is better than NOT tracking at all. If you see 4 different cakes ranging from 150-300 calories in myfitnesspal, use one in the middle. You’re going to have a way better idea than NOT tracking what you eat at all.

 STRATEGY 2: Recruit your office BFF.

 

In the army, you’re only as good as the brothers you have around you.

This means that you rely on them for support, as they rely on you.

Some would call this shirking personal responsibility.

I like to call it “managing mental energy”.

Relying on your office friend to be on your team without them even knowing what you’re doing is a wise choice.

You can do it one of two ways.

  1. a) Tell them your limit regarding treats. 

Whether it’s none, one, or WHATEVER you decide, tell your BFF what your limit is. By doing this you have now promised THEM something, and you now don’t want to let them down.

Do you make sure not to break a promise with someone, even though you’ll break a promise with yourself?

Yup. I’m right there with you.

That’s why telling your friends what your limit is works.

b) Split the goods with your BFF.

You don’t eat cupcakes to get full, you eat them to enjoy the flavour right?

So why not eat half, save some calories, and eat it a little slower to enjoy it?

Trying to use will power, restricting yourself halfway through your cupcake from heaven is a recipe for disaster. Instead, give the other half of your cupcake to someone else.

Making friends and saving calories. Win-win for you my friend.

3. Make healthier baked goods at home.

 

If you don’t like baking… You might be out of luck here.

It doesn’t have to be fancy, but having something you made that is tasty, enjoyable, and a part of your quality diet can help with the social aspect of office parties.

One of my go-to recipes is making protein pancakes.

The recipe is as follows:

3 Eggs

1 Scoop of your favourite protein powder (#Chocolategains)

½ Cup Oat Flour

1 Banana

2 Tsp Baking Powder.

They taste great, and you can pack them to go when a sales rep brings baked goods around.

4. Make your lunches and baked goods beforehand. 

 

You’re only as good as your preparation.

 

Soldiers need to pack the right gear on a mission as well.

If you forget to pack your rifle or radio, you’re as good as dead on the battlefield.

If you forget to pack your lunch for the office, your results you want in the next few months might be as good as dead too.

You might be rolling your eyes at me, but have you ever forgot your lunch?

Don’t worry, I’ve done it too.

When you get to the office, you tell yourself, “it’s okay, I’m just going to wait until I get home to have my lunch.”

But then it hit’s you. You’re hit with a full-on artillery of baked goodness in the form of cake, cookies, and cupcakes.

You freeze. Your stomach is trying to climb up your esophagus because you’re so hungry.

You break into cold sweats because you know it’s impossible turning these treats down.

Instead of waiting until you get home, you grab “just one” cupcake.

The cupcake then turns into a piece of cake… and a couple cookies. Soon enough, you’re sick to your stomach. Not only from having too many baked goods.

But you realized you pooped the bed.

We need a medic! We’ve got a man down.

THIS is why preparing your meals ahead of time will keep you out of trouble. Whether it’s preparing for the week, or the night before, make sure that you get your food ready ahead of time.

The guilt of an unplanned treat, OR the disappointment of goals not reached isn’t worth it.

 

THE TAKEAWAY

 

Here are a few of the keys to get you off the nutritional battlefield, into the victory parade with your beautiful wife by your side.

Preload your snacks before you eat them.

Split your cupcakes with your bff.

Make healthy alternatives at home,

Prepare your food at home.

By doing these, you’ll crush your fat loss goals faster than your office buddies grab their third cupcake.

Screw you magic cupcake.